Can Our Mother Be Our Best Friend?

Some of us remain close to our mother even as adults, or find her again, but can she be our best friend? I have read this question in several places and it made me think a lot, or is this relationship something completely different – deeper, more complex – than what a friendship can offer? 

The „mother-child” relationship is inherently special. Our mother is there from the very first moment, she cares for us, takes care of us, worries about us, shapes us. This relationship is constantly changing throughout life: it can change from childhood dependence to adolescent rebellion, and then as an adult to a relationship based on mutual understanding and support. 

In such cases, the question may arise: if we talk to him as an equal, if we discuss everything, if we are by his side through thick and thin – can he be our best friend? 

The answer also depends on what we mean by „best friend”. If a best friend means someone to whom we can tell everything, who listens without judgment, who supports us, who is honest with us, who we laugh and cry with – then many mothers can really fill this role. In fact, sometimes even better than a contemporary friend, since the mother often knows us better than anyone else. Such a relationship can give us immense emotional security, boost our self-confidence and create a special bond. 

I have heard from many mothers that they strive to establish the best friendship with their child even when the child is very small. In such cases, I think that at the same time there are limits that are worth paying attention to. A parent-child relationship doesn’t always work the same way as a friendship. 

A mother – no matter how supportive and open – is still a parent, and if we only share all our worries, relationship problems or disappointments with her, then the relationship may become too „intertwined”. 

Balance is therefore important. 

Maybe our mother is our best friend – if this relationship is mutual, respectful and does not take away the freedom of either party. Mother-child friendship is therefore possible – but only healthy if both parties are able to function in it as adults. It often takes a deep inner transformation to truly transform the traditional maternal role into a friendship.